Stage 1 - Elko, Nevada - 547 miles.

THE CONDIMENT MAP



Today's route is brought to you by a pomegranite ceasar dressing that came with my salad this evening.

DAY 1

The day started slowly.

Keen to get going as early as possible so as to make good time, we limped away at 10 AM. This was due in part to having to ram more bits and bobs into the back of the truck, and me lingering around for as long as possible.

an empty truck

a full truck

Finally though, we were off!
So far we have used the GPS twice. Once to find the Fry's in Fremont so that we could buy a boom box, and then to find an In and Out Burger for lunch. Awesome.
Thereafter we were navigating by our wits alone, and the signs that said I-80 East.

guido eats

neil regrets

But I have jumped ahead. Surely you must be longing to know about the protagonists of this epic journey. Firstly we have Eric Roberts, the comedy side-kick orangutan. Eric was monickered thusly due to the fact that I had just seen 'Sharktopus' starring said brother of Julia Roberts, and couldn't erase the taste from my eyes. This is a legitimate statement. Ask a gecko.

eric roberts + monkey

The flea is known only as 'Proto-Flea'. He was the first puppet I made for my ongoing film, and I felt it would be fitting to bring him along. If nothing else, we could secrete him under our Super 8 pillows and demand our money back in the morning.

proto-flea, on the road

The crazy Dutchman shall henceforth be known as Guido 'Rumble-Stripper' Lek. This is due to the fact that he drives with his head at a 90 degree angle to the left so that he can look for wildlife, and thus constantly drives over the rumble strips on the hard shoulder, vibrating my dangly bits in a most unsettling manner.

we passed a sign that read 'Bear Left', and saw this

I am now called Neil 'Bum Tooter' Baker, simply because every time I turn around in the cab my arse hits the horn.

we are eating manly snacks

and pretending to go to manly bars

So far the driving has been slow - hampered as we were by rain and roadworks and bloody big mountains in Tahoe. We have not had many scrapes, although Guido had to slam on the brakes once, Neil had to slam on the brakes once, and the truck nearly got tipped over by a rampaging dust-devil that blew into the road. During the last event, it should be mentioned (at Guido's request) that the Englishman nearly soiled himself while the Dutchman merely cheered.

guido actually reduced speed

So here we are, safe and sound in Elko, and ready for a very early push tomorrow.

the nevada plains are quite beautiful

the colossus of roads

fatigue and gas prices hit me hard

a sneaky peek at the nevada sunset

If you are enjoying this blog so far I have some bad news for you. Rumble Stripper has been busy taking a gazillion photos for his own, super blog, which shall be linked to from here soon. Just remember that I had nothing to do with it.

erectile dysfunction may be caused by stunt driving

Ta ta for now!

N